“I swear to the god almighty upon high if I see a collarbone, midriff, thigh, or cleavage I will forsake all my divinely inspired morals and start rage raping everything I see!”
Sound ridiculous, primitive, uncivilized, and even a bit obscenely humorous? Of course it does, everyone knows that to lose self control in the presence of the opposite sex is a sign of moral decrepitude, right? Everyone knows church, synagogue, and mosque taught, god fearing boys and men are models of chivalry and civility, right? Right? Your silence alarms me…
It would appear that this is simply common sense, terrifyingly no longer common, as boys and men are routinely subjected to a lust of the flesh through tight fitting garments or loose fitting gowns… Recently there have been mainstream stories that caught my attention not so much because of the offense of beauty but of the reasoning for censor.
Leaving the specifics of the stories out to keep this conversation on a broad general plain, schools have been banning tights and yoga pants. Under the circumstances I can understand the uniform designations as my high school had skirt and short length minimums as well as profane shirts under lock and key. I even understand the reasons they gave; long explanations of modesty, morality, and social etiquette filled the school’s code of dress. But, a set of reasoning, simultaneously new and old, has been making the headlines.
Tights and tight yoga pants are henceforth banned because they are distracting the boys.
Read that again, slowly, and feel where the blame is. Think about who is at fault here, who is the seducer and who is the powerless victim. Think about growing up and learning about instincts, natural human urges, proper behavior in public, and of course taking responsibility for your actions. When you are done meet me in the next paragraph, don’t worry, I’ll wait for you I promise.
Welcome back, are you tired of all those life factors, all those emotional connections built by years of human interaction, and all the rules and regulations governing how you act, dress, talk, and think in public? You should be tired, you have to navigate that complicated system everyday. But what if you didn’t, what if someone just never gave you these elaborate contextual judgment scenarios and just locked away half of humanity, how great would that be?
The reason this ban irritates me is not because young boys will be free of the mental battle of a visual teenscape rife booty pants and hints of anatomy. Wandering the hallways hiding raging testosterone levels prone to blood pressure drops from lightning fast blood “relocation”. All this while trying to learn mind you…
Ok, enough about my prepubescent horror stories, the reason for my disgust is the is pathetic declaration that “its distracting the boys”. This tragic line of thought, prompting my sarcasm faculties of course, leads me to wonder: would this not be the time or place to teach them about why this is happening, how it makes girls feel when boys act offensively, how to redirect those energies, and most of all start them on a lifetime journey of respecting women as the equally important HALF of humanity they are.
In our society, we are quick to blame, quick to ban, and even quicker to victimize. These are small steps on the road to an imbalanced society, one like the many of our past, one where people are not held accountable for their own actions, one that apathetically locks away difficult issues for the leaders or holy books to deal with, and one that never truly reaches the infinite beauty of world wide human cooperation.
But, I can hear you murmuring, “its just boys, stop jumping on your sled and heading for slippery slopes”. Well I figured you would say that and I was saving this story especially for your galactic outburst of “Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly”. Recently, at a christian home school prom a girl was asked to leave because the fathers and chaperones could not stop, and this is directly from the articles, “lusting” after her from the balcony… These were adult men who could not control their urges well enough that they had to ask a beautiful young woman to leave, lest they have to address their own massive failing at life and morality. I could go on and on about the lessons this gave the boys in this community but I hope that you already know these things and will give me a little break…
These stories echo the past, the primitive minds of ancient civilization, minds that evolved and changed to devise the potentially wonderful society we now enjoy. But there are those that would not forget those times, that control, the power, and the holy justifications that gave a small greedy few everything they ever wanted. This power comes at the cost of freedom and liberty of the “poor” unfortunates born outside the “in” group or sex. We can see this deferment of blame, isolation, and segregation operating in real time in a few cultures today, many of which I find most people would not like to become a part of.
So why don’t you think a bit about what it is to place the blame on women for your inability to control yourself, why you would never wrap the most beautiful part of our species in a black canvas, and why we ALL need to think about what it is to be human including the parts that are hard to understand, hard to talk about, and most of all, hard enough to shatter our fragile existence on this pale blue dot.
Oh and remember, there are those who wish to send us into devolving arguments about which parts are shameful and which ones you can be killed over. Are we better than that?