Case Number 6.6-6: Christianity vs. Objective Reasoning
Plaintiff – Christianity
Defendant – Objective Reasoning
Presiding Judge – Judge Sye Entific Methud
This is a non-jury trial
Plaintiff is required to prove the resurrection of Jesus Christ. The defendant will defend against this supernatural claim.
Judge: Plaintiff, you may proceed.
Christianity: Your honor, we claim that the biblical Jesus was crucified, died, and then rose from the dead 3 days later as stated in the bible.
Judge: What is your evidence to prove this claim?
Christianity: The bible, your honor.
Judge: How so?
Christianity: It is written in the bible that Jesus died, rose from the dead, and that there were witnesses to this account.
Judge: Who were these witnesses?
Christianity: A few women, one named Mary, the apostles, and some others. Also, the Apostle Paul claims a higher number, I believe it was 500.
Judge: Could you provide their full names and their sworn written testimonies to this account?
Christianity: No, we don’t have any full names or sworn testimonies, but later on a man named Paul was knocked off his horse by a vision of God and God told him that this account is true.
Judge: Hold on a minute. These eye witnesses, how do you know that they are not lying or were have been tricked in some way?
Christianity: Well Judge, why would they take a risk at sacrificing their lives for something that didn’t happen?
Judge: I will be asking the questions here. Do you have an original document from a known author that states what exactly happened and who witnessed it?
Christianity: No, we don’t.
Judge: Well then, what do you have?
Christianity: We have copies of copies of translated-into-other-language copies of letters that were evaluated, then selected by about 8 men in the 1600s which we use for our evidence.
Judge: By whose authority did these men create this bible, and how did they determine which letters to throw out and which to keep?
Christianity: By God’s authority.
Judge: How do you know that?
Christianity: Because the bible is God’s holy word.
Judge: That is circular reasoning and I won’t allow it, this is not evidence based on any verifiable facts and/or knowledge. Not one objectively minded person would accept your claim. Now, what about this Paul fellow?
Objective Reasoning: Your honor, I would also like to add to the record that this bible claims that many dead people arose from the dead and walked into the city streets to meet and talk with people. This supposedly happened after Jesus’ claimed resurrection.
Judge: Is this true?
Christianity: Yes, it is in one of the gospels.
Objective Reasoning: Judge, there are 4 gospels and only one claims such events to have happened.
Judge: Why wouldn’t an extraordinary event such as the dead rising from their graves, marching upon a major city, and talking with the living only be recorded in one of the gospels of your bible and not in all four?
Christianity: I don’t know… each author had a different perspective maybe?
Judge: As I said, I will ask the questions! Besides this bible, why wasn’t it recorded in other books from other sources?
Christianity: I don’t know.
Judge: Then how do you expect me to accept your claim?
Christianity: On faith!
Objective Reasoning: Regarding this Paul guy, he never met Jesus in person and spoke of him as a celestial being.
Christianity: Yes, but Paul can verify witnesses to Jesus’ resurrection.
Judge: How so?
Christianity: Paul says so in his letters to the church.
Judge: Does Paul name these witnesses? How was Paul’s claim of these witnesses verified; are there sworn testimonies for me to view?
Christianity: No. No names. No sworn testimonies. We take Paul’s word as truth.
Judge: Based on what?
Christianity: Because the bible says Paul speaks the truth for God.
Judge: That isn’t factual at all. We don’t know what really happened with Paul, or who he talked to, or why he believed what he believed. We have no evidence except the letters he wrote.
Objective Reasoning: He didn’t write them.
Judge: Is this true?
Christianity: He had a scribe write them for him.
Objective Reasoning: Only 7 of his epistles are accepted by biblical scholars as having been scribed for Paul. The rest were scribed by unknown author(s).
Judge: Who was this scribe?
Christianity: We don’t know.
Judge: How do you expect me to rule in your favor?
Christianity: By believing in the bible, your honor!
Judge and Objective Reasoning: [facepalm]