As the title says, I’m just tired, exhausted, worn down, exasperated… Does anyone else feel it?
Wait, let me elaborate before you sigh and cast your weary gaze to the back button, expecting this to be nothing but a series of complaints from a millennial who actually has to work for his money. You would be quite wrong, of course, as I rarely give people exactly what they expect.
As an activist, blogger, podcast host, engineer, homeowner, small business owner, husband, responsible pet owner, and soon to be father of a tiny human female I accept the weariness this will dispel. I understand that life can be filled with siestas and 40 hour cog in the machine workweeks if one can willingly submit. I understand all of these things but that is not the reason for my fatigue, it is the repetition.
Repetition in argumentation, repetition in political idiocy, repetition in online bigotry, repetition in financial irresponsibility, repetition of traditional oppression, and the list goes on and on…
I am so tired of the same arguments from the right wing arch conservatives: gay marriage will destroy all moral structure ending in malicious bestiality, deregulation of the economy will create more jobs not slave wages and serfdom, tax breaks-school funding / social programming cuts will force the poor to actually work, and Obama is a Muslim Nazi.
I am so tired of reading stories of political leaders announcing their intentions to take big money out of politics when we can see the list of their campaign contributors are the top wall street mega corporations. I am tired of politicians charged with protecting the American people putting “Freedom”, “Patriot”, or “Religious Freedom” at the beginning of some of the most subversive legislation to ever attack our basic human rights. And, I am tired of a two party system that uses unethical financial bullying to prevent decent discourse and the diversity of the people from being represented in our “Democratic Republic” election cycles.
I am so tired of reading posts online that perpetuate the pride of ignorance in our so called modern society, of outright public condemnation of evolutionary and climate science by people who have never read more than the title of a scientific article, of indifference to the stagnation of wages supported by a credit card economy benefiting a handful of mega rich families, and comprehensive major news media coverage of Justin Bieber’s most recent car accident when hundreds of innocents die everyday in destruction directly resulting from OUR military actions.
I am so tired of writing the same refutations to Pascal’s Wager, of linking to the Smithsonian fossil libraries of literally thousands of transitional fossils, and I am just so tired of reminding good decent people that the bible isn’t proven true by verses from the bible (by that same logic the “The Catcher in the Rye” is a real historical account). Every day I write about these things, I read and sign political petitions, I join online discussions with people whose intelligence vastly exceeds mine, I share announcements of scientific discoveries, and I debate when I can. Every day I watch my friends in the activist community do these things too, I watch in awe as they juggle life, the universe, and everything.
Some days I wake and it’s just too much, I spent the whole night panicking about people I will never meet, legislation I could never possibly influence, and children being violated that I just know I am letting down. It feels like nothing is changing; the news reports the candidates for the next presidency and I shudder. The one presidential candidate I feel has a basic grasp on reality and the cognitive faculties to make a difference isn’t even considered a factor, the rest are sponsored by so many big money names that even a NASCAR driver would be ashamed.
It just feels like too much sometimes and the cold quiet sleep of ignorance in Winston Smith’s Orwellian world just seems so easy be engulfed into. The empty smiles on the faces of people wildly waving their arms in the background of a live taping of Good Morning America seem so content when a plastic mannequin tells them everything is OK.
All I can say is, I know you feel it too, just a little at least. That little echo in the background that says it’s impossible, you are working too hard already and will never make a real difference.
I just wanted to remind you that I am here with you, standing on that front line as best I can, tired bloodshot eyes, callused dirty hands, and sore feet in worn boots. We can do this, we really can, no matter what they tell us.