5 Simple Tips to Overcome Guilt

“Guilt is anger directed at ourselves – at what we did or did not do.”
~Peter McWilliams

 

Guilt is an emotional warning sign that serves to let us know when we’ve done something wrong.

It’s a self-policing mechanism that we all have.

It helps us to improve our behavior, act in the best interest of society, and avoid making the same mistake twice.

But it can also steal our joy, make us feel miserable, and keep us in a negative mindset.

It can undermine our self-esteem and prevent us from having fulfilling relationships.

Most of us do an amazing job every day – either at work or at home – but still feel plagued by guilt.

How can we overcome these feelings?  How can we determine what feelings are important and beneficial to us, and which ones are not?

 

5 Simple Tips to Overcome Guilt

1) Determine if your guilt is healthy

It takes some self-examination to figure out what you’re feeling guilty about.

Healthy guilt is very beneficial to keeping meaningful relationships.  It prevents us from taking action that could hurt others.

It’s completely rational to feel guilty after saying something hurtful to someone or spending too much time at work instead of with your family.

This guilt is healthy and serves to warn you that either your thoughts, behavior, or morals need to change.

On the other hand, feeling guilty over the actions of others, or when there’s nothing to feel guilty about is not healthy.

As an introvert, I used to feel guilty when I needed to spend some time alone.  This wasn’t me being anti-social, I just needed time to relax and recharge a little.
Continue reading “5 Simple Tips to Overcome Guilt”

8 Tips to Choosing a New Year’s Resolution Right for You

“The difference between who you are and who you want to be…is what you do.”
~Unknown

 

Well another year has passed.  A new year offers time for reflection and the feeling of a fresh start.

We enjoy the idea of starting from scratch and improving ourselves.

Many of us have goals we’d like to get started on, but how do you choose a path that’s right for you?

I’ve given this some thought and have a few tips I’m hoping will get you off to a good start for a successful year.

So while I think you’re fine just the way you are…

8 Tips to Choosing a New Year’s Resolution Right for You

Continue reading “8 Tips to Choosing a New Year’s Resolution Right for You”

5 Simple Steps to Take When You’re Feeling Stressed

“Stress should be a powerful driving force, not an obstacle.”
~Bill Phillips

 

I’m starting to notice that managing stress plays a huge role in our lives.  It influences our motivation levels, what we get accomplished, how we feel, and how happy we are on a daily basis.

I’m learning how to effectively manage stress as I juggle personal relationships, a career, school, the blog, public speaking, and the gym – all while trying to keep up on everyday tasks and allowing myself time to relax!

Think of the last goal you didn’t accomplish.  Did you really not have the time?  Was it really too difficult or not for you?  Or was it stress that pushed you off course?

Stress arises when we encounter something we feel we cannot cope with.  It is a physical or emotional response to a situation.  And is often described as feeling overwhelmed, worried, or run down.

A little stress here and there can be good.  It can give us the boost we need to get through difficult situations or meet important deadlines.  But chronic stress can be emotionally overwhelming and damage our mind and body.

Left untreated, chronic stress can have a negative impact on our health.  It increases our risk for depression, heart disease, and obesity.

Effects of stress on the body:

  • Anxiety
  • Fatigue
  • Insomnia
  • Clinching Jaws
  • Grinding Teeth
  • Headaches
  • Muscle Pain
  • High Blood Pressure
  • Weakened Immune System

Continue reading “5 Simple Steps to Take When You’re Feeling Stressed”

4 Crucial Steps to Stop Suppressing Your Emotions

“What you resist, persists.”

~C. G. Jung

 

When was the last time something happened that was too painful to deal with?  Do you remember how you tried to get it out of your head?  Were you afraid you’d feel overwhelmed if you thought about it? Did you distract yourself or avoid what was triggering it?

 

This is called emotional suppression.

 

Emotional suppression is the deliberate or conscious avoidance or pushing away of thoughts or feelings to cope with trauma.
Continue reading “4 Crucial Steps to Stop Suppressing Your Emotions”

8 Tips to Choosing a New Year’s Resolution Right for You

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Well another year has passed.  A new year offers time for reflection and the feeling of a fresh start.

We enjoy the idea of starting from scratch and improving ourselves in the upcoming year.

Many of us have goals we’d like to get started on, but how do you choose a path that’s right for you?

I’ve given this some thought and have a few tips I’m hoping will get you off to a good start for a successful year.

So while I think you’re fine just the way you are…

8 Tips to Choosing a New Year’s Resolution Right for You

1) Really give your resolution some thought.

You know yourself best.  Avoid impulsive resolutions, especially ones you feel you’re making to keep up with others.  Choose something meaningful that aligns with who you really are.

2) Make your resolution something you want.

Make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.  Make sure it’s important to you and not someone else.  It’ll be very challenging to stick with something you don’t really want to do, and you could end up resenting the person you’re trying to please.

3) Be specific.

Wanting to “exercise more” may sound good, but won’t do much to hold you accountable.  Be as specific as you can and do your best to follow a plan. Instead of wanting to “exercise more”, commit to a set routine on set days (with a partner if possible), and make it a priority.  Don’t give yourself too much room to let off the gas.

4) Be realistic.

Don’t set yourself up for failure with a goal that is unattainable.  If you’ve never played basketball before, don’t expect to be playing in the NBA within 6 months.

5) Don’t try to do too much.

Spread your focus to goals that you really want to accomplish. Ones that have been on your mind. You can’t live the next year in a panic with no free time. You need time to relax and enjoy your accomplishments.

6) Go public.

Put a little healthy pressure on yourself by making your goals known. Chat with a friend or loved one every week and talk about your progress and challenges. This will help you feel like you’re being held accountable, organizing your thoughts, and putting things into perspective. Don’t go it alone.

7) Don’t try and change everything overnight.

If your goal is to lose weight, don’t cut calories too drastically, or change every meal right away.  If you want to start lifting weights, don’t jump right into Olympic level workouts.

Don’t kill your motivation by trying to change everything all at once.  Commit to small steps and smaller monthly or quarterly goals.

8) Reward yourself.

It’s better to steadily reward yourself as you see progress instead of trying to wait until you see major changes.

Don’t be afraid to treat yourself to something that won’t set you back too far.  Just keep your goals in mind.  If you’re trying to quit smoking, don’t reward yourself with one!

2015 Coming Soon

A few things to remember along the way:

  • You have to make change a priority.  At a minimum, you have to give it at least a month. Those that stick with their goals for the first 30 days are 3 times more likely to be successful! Give yourself a chance.
  • You’re not a failure if you didn’t complete last year’s resolution.  Don’t carry any negativity over from last year.
  • You’re fine just the way you are.  We all have goals and aspirations, but don’t tie your self-esteem to accomplishing your resolutions.
  • Don’t put off happiness until you accomplish your goals.  Don’t make yourself unhappy now while preparing for happiness later. Remember that all you have is now.
  • Recognize that progress is progress.  Don’t get down on yourself if you missed a few workouts last week.  You’re still working towards your goal and doing more than you were last week!
  • Don’t fear failure.  Most of what we do fails. Mistakes are only proof that you are trying and they do not define you.
  • Focus on the process, not the outcome.  Habitual behavior is very difficult to change. You’re not only trying to complete your New Year’s resolution, you’re changing your life. Enjoy the ride, even if you have to take a detour or two.

My Resolutions:

  • Maintain 3.5 – 4.0 GPA
  • Maintain my weekly blog post schedule (start podcasts and interviews as well)
  • Start speaking more consistently
  • Expand my knowledge on mindfulness

Please comment with your New Year’s resolutions and how you keep them.

If you’ve enjoyed this post, please share!

Re-blogged from: http://bobdempsey.org/8-tips-choosing-new-years-resolution-right/

6 Powerful Steps to Leave Your Comfort Zone

We enjoy the security and predictability of our daily routines. We’re afraid of rejection, judgment, and failure.  We avoid risk and the unknown. We go from exploring and taking risks every day as children, to holding ourselves back, playing it safe, and ultimately limiting our personality, capability, and potential.

comfort zone relates to anxiety levels.  It is defined in psychology as an artificial mental boundary. A place or situation where one feels safe, comfortable, in control, or at ease and without stress.

In layman’s terms: a behavior pattern that fits a predictable routine to minimize stress; where we feel most at home.

It’s easy being comfortable and there’s nothing wrong with having somewhere familiar to return to. But too much comfort can make us lazy and kill productivity.
You can’t motivate yourself to make real improvement while feeling content.  You’ll find yourself doing only enough to get by.  Leading to missed opportunities and regret.
It takes a lot of courage to break yout of our comfort zone, but it can be a great for your self-esteem and provide lasting happiness and fulfillment.Learning to face the unknown not only becomes easier with practice, but can be very liberating and surprisingly habit forming.
 

Continue reading “6 Powerful Steps to Leave Your Comfort Zone”

3 Easy Ways to be Mindful Today

When was the last time you walked out to your car and noticed the beauty of the fall leaves? Do you have the same trouble recalling the last time you checked your phone all the way to your car?

We live in a world of overstimulation. Chronic distraction has become a societal norm.

We regularly choose between the person in front of us and the person on the phone.  We tune out the world while compulsively checking social media and email.

We choose what we pay attention to and we miss out on life when we go through our day merely reacting in a distracted state.  With the constant attack on our attention spans, it’s not surprising that we have difficulties connecting to the present moment.

There is a way to shift your attention away from your preoccupations.  To train yourself to relinquish negative mental habits; to find happiness and clear your mind.

Continue reading “3 Easy Ways to be Mindful Today”

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