The Tale of Spartacus

My name is Spartacus, I have one brother left named Titus, and one Sister named Bee-lac-eh who is very sexy, I think she and Titus are intimate. My other brother The Douche (our staff called him “Il Duce” after someone famous) has gone, we know not where. I miss him. We are not Gods, my staff and I, Fran and Gerry, are also Atheists; they do our bidding, they treat us like gods. I don‘t know why but I like it, and the following is my story .


I was born in the Summer. I have seen eight moons and many suns. I have felt the warm sun and the bitter cold. We live in a country called Canada (I think it means Land of The Bitter Cold) this I will explain later on. I said I am an atheist, but I do believe in dogs, they are real and they are evil bastards. My brother and I think they killed our other brother, but we have no proof.  I find it interesting that Dog spelled backwards is God, he must be an evil bastard too. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a bastard per say, I’m one.   My mom was the purest Black and had the softest fur but when we left our home in the shed next door we said goodbye with no intentions of returning. Both Titus and I bunked with a commune in the Big Barn across the way. There is plenty of room there and lots of sex, I mean lots and lots of sex. Titus is addicted. I never knew my dad, he or they (my mom was a bit of a slut) left before we were born, I suspect I will do the same. It’s our way.
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Days of Never Ending Snow

Day 104.


We are alone now . Our feral cats Titus and Spartacus have sought refuge in the large barn across the way where sexual pleasures await them. I think they feel there is a greater chance survival there. My dear wife, said the last storm was a St. Patrick’s storm and that winter was over, has taken to sitting in the easy chair mumbling snow, snow, snow the sounds of the Yeti’s cries sooth her. I fear it was not a St. Patricks’ storm but the Snakes Revenge. I want to see my shed again or my garage of some trees, Everything is white. I have come to hate White. I know there are people still out there I hear a plow sometimes in the never ending night…


Day 105.


30 more CM’s called for today. Titus made it home he was ravenous and looked fucked out, no sign of Spartacus yet, I guess he has more sexual stamina or is afraid of the long trek home. The Yeti are making me nervous, I wonder if they like the taste of kittens ( I hope not ). I saw a dim light through the clouds this morning, we suspect it was the sun, there may be hope. My dear wife is trembling, only 2 beers left. I found some seeds and planted them this morning, hope springs eternal, awe who am I kidding we are done for. I found my old crossbow in the attic and if a wolf or Yeti get too close tonight We Eat. No plows today they have abandoned us. I hope this message reaches my sons, we love you and hope you are safe and warm. My dear wife is mumbling something about the market and Apple Pie, I fear she has become delirious Pray for her boys. Shit I forgot we brought you up without all that religious shit, I take comfort in that .


I curse the day I sold my snowshoes, what a fool I was. We are getting ready for the long night now and have taken Nan’s quilts down from the attic. Maybe tomorrow there will be an end to the snow.


Day 106.
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Confiteor of an Atheist

I believe in no god but my Mother and Father who ushered me into this world.

I believe in the family of man and all the ramifications therein.

I believe in the truth and shall seek it forever, however long that may be.

I shall shun all religions, and cults, from all regions.

I shall cling to my life as long as I can and renounce any death cults in kind.

I shall bring up my family as any man should, without threats or rapprochements on their decisions.

I shall never chose their path, however they shall know mine.

I shall never be judgemental as far as it is in my power to be.

I may make mistakes and admit my wrongs but I will never bow down to false propitiations of others.

I shall turn the other cheek but once, woe unto those who continue their insulting behavior.

I will never submit to forced love of any kind, it is an abomination.

When my time comes to die I shall never renounce who I am or what I stand for.

I shall face my life and Death without Shame!