The Tale of Spartacus

My name is Spartacus, I have one brother left named Titus, and one Sister named Bee-lac-eh who is very sexy, I think she and Titus are intimate. My other brother The Douche (our staff called him “Il Duce” after someone famous) has gone, we know not where. I miss him. We are not Gods, my staff and I, Fran and Gerry, are also Atheists; they do our bidding, they treat us like gods. I don‘t know why but I like it, and the following is my story .

 

I was born in the Summer. I have seen eight moons and many suns. I have felt the warm sun and the bitter cold. We live in a country called Canada (I think it means Land of The Bitter Cold) this I will explain later on. I said I am an atheist, but I do believe in dogs, they are real and they are evil bastards. My brother and I think they killed our other brother, but we have no proof.  I find it interesting that Dog spelled backwards is God, he must be an evil bastard too. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a bastard per say, I’m one.   My mom was the purest Black and had the softest fur but when we left our home in the shed next door we said goodbye with no intentions of returning. Both Titus and I bunked with a commune in the Big Barn across the way. There is plenty of room there and lots of sex, I mean lots and lots of sex. Titus is addicted. I never knew my dad, he or they (my mom was a bit of a slut) left before we were born, I suspect I will do the same. It’s our way.
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Bi Weekly Blasphemy 8: The Black Friday Blues

Another year has come to a close with the black bells ringing in the merry holidays of the one true god, the all mighty US Dollar. Deafilosophy weighs in on the loss of character for what, to him, is simply the loss of a holiday season consisting of family, good food, and relaxation. Somewhere that was replaced with raging first world shopping fits and camping outside in the cold… Even Atheists can miss the peaceful snowy days of winter… Without the guilt of course.